|Quote by St. Augustine|
Last fall, Merrimack College's onstagers put on the play Our Town. I do not know if you remember, but in the final act of the play, the main character Emily Webb says good-bye to all the things she will miss about life in her hometown Grover's Corners. Her speech went like this:
"Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners? Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking? and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths? and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you."
Using Ms. Webb's good-bye speech as inspiration, I have drafted my own two good-bye speeches about Madrid. Can you guess which one is the sarcastic version?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Spain. Goodbye, Madrid. Croquetas, patatas bravas and tortilla espanola. Good bye to Professor Jose Maria Marco’s laugh. And 1 euro Wednesdays at Montiditos. And last minute day/weekend trips to different cities. And El Tigre and Dubliners. Goodbye to Cube-ims and Moorish Architecture. And playing the guessing game on the Metro of who will get off at Chueca? And bars and clubs closing late. And Barclays, ha ha ha. And the Santa Claus guys running away from La Policia. Goodbye, goodbye Claudio, Cristina Martin and Valentine. And the clean metro, and hearing “la proxima parada and train bound for”. Goodbye 24 hour pizza, 1 euro wine, and chocolate con churros. And “cultural experiences”. And Julio, may he rest in peace. And not getting carded, not tipping and not paying for gas. And free tapas with drinks. Goodbye, goodbye to pregaming with Don Simon, chiptos gratis, and dark hot chocolate. And shoes, accents, gelato, and well more shoes. And Corte Ingles and hooka bars. Goodbye to Sangria and Mojitos. And our 5 month vacation. Oh, Madrid, you’re too wonderful for anyone to realize you.
And now for the second....
Goodbye, Goodbye, Spain. Goodbye, Madrid. Mahou, San Miguel and Alhambra. Goodbye to paying 5 cents for bags at the supermercado. And asking para la cuenta. And no toilet paper, soap or hand dryers in bathrooms. Goodbye to aggressive, creepy Spanish men. And paying $6 for peanut butter. And the prostitutes on Calle de Montera. And Patricia, the bitchy maid lady and Rob? Goodbye, goodbye to “chicas 2 bebidas para 10 euros”. And having to manually open the metro doors and shops closed for siesta hour. And All You Can Eat, Hide My Ass and Movistar. And paying for water at restaurants. Goodbye to RyanAir and 8 hour bus rides. And the gypsies and compro oro men. And walking on cobblestone sidewalks in heals and dressing up for class every day. And the obnoxiously loud Spanish girls at dinner. And huelgas, hostels and the euro. Goodbye, goodbye to ceilings collapsing, barking pugs, and moldy showers. And the cleaning/laundry service at the residence. And ATM foreign transaction fees. And pickpocketing on the metro and the hour commute to Comillas. Goodbye to buying an Abono. And plug adapters, Spanish breakfast and milk that isn’t refrigerated, gross. And Current International Issues. And using Skype. And the squeaky things the men have in their mouths around Sol. And most importantly, playing cards with Mariah. Oh, Spain, you’re too wonderful for anyone to realize you.